name is Shayne North and my wife’s name is Lori. We live in the Seven Hills
subdivision of Aurora, Colorado in the area of Hampden Avenue and Tower Road.
We have lived here since 1998. We have a
Cat. Lori retired from her food production employment
with Classic Bakery many years ago due to marginal health issues. Lori has some
learning disabilities which prevents her from full employment which she would
love to do, if able to do so. She stays at home, a full-time housewife, caring
for our home, myself, and The Cat. Her Tuesday
mornings are spent at her ladies’ bible study, taught by Lisa McKenna, at New
Life Church, a group Lori has enjoyed attending for many years. My background is in truck driving, since 1978,
when I moved here to Denver from Indianapolis, Indiana. My entrance into the
truck driving profession was one that allowed me to avoid the usual
over-the-road driving requirement and become a local truck driver from the
beginning. That type of entrance is rare
and was a miracle for me. I feel honored
to be a part of this great blue-collar profession.
Lori grew up in Council Bluffs, Iowa, the third
child of a Baptist Minister, whose family moved to Denver. Lori’s parents wanted to raise their four
children near the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Every one of Lori’s family are in
the ministry, either as pastors or missionaries, and all have enjoyed decades
long successful careers in the Christian field. Lori’s family are as apple pie, grass roots,
hometown, salt of the earth as you can get. If there is one thing I would say
about Lori and her family, it is that theirs were and are, lives well lived. I just hope that I can keep up my end of the ‘lives
well lived’ part now and in the years ahead, to Lori and her family.
Lori’s saintly mother, Marilyn Miller, passed
away from a catastrophic stroke about ten years before I met Lori at Galilee
Baptist Church in Aurora, Colorado. Lori
speaks fondly of her. I immediately connected
with her mother’s compassion for the common man, the underdog and any hardship
bound person, animal or thing she saw.
Marilyn was a crusader and a champion for anyone or anything in
distress. She had a compassion streak
that ran deep, and it is copied in Lori as well. Lori’s mother served in Lori’s
father’s church, Bethel Baptist Church in south Denver as a pianist, organist,
and singer in their choir. Marilyn also
substitute taught in high school, as well as giving music lessons and selling
Avon, among other things to help with their family’s income.
My beginnings were far different from Lori’s; I grew up on Merritt island, on the east coast of Florida in the late 1950’s and 60’s, in an unfinished shack on South Tropical Trail at the south end of Merritt Island. I was the oldest of four siblings. Parenting was horrific. I do not see how I made it to adult hood, but I got there. The one who arrived at adulthood was not even a shell of the one who should have arrived at adulthood. Abusive churches, abusive dysfunctional adults, and every type of nightmarish experience one could run into happened in childhood and teenage years. When there is literally no adult anywhere who cares at all, that you can talk to and tell your feelings to on anything, you know you are alone in the universe!
That was my beginning. For many long years since, I wondered ‘why?’
as I searched for answers. In the decades since I experienced that Life has a
way of completing itself. Needs were filled in, emptiness became understanding,
meaninglessness turned into ‘things for a reason,’ and lastly, ‘no purposes for
our pains’ turned into deep spiritual lessons well understood.’ Like growing tall oak trees, this for many of
us does not happen overnight, it takes a lifetime. One thing I learned above all else, is that Life,
God, The Loving Mother Universe, or whatever your source figure you are
comfortable imaging them to be is, always gives you an asset within you to see
you through to your destination. For
some it is great parents, for others it is financial resources, talents, athletic
abilities, among others. The first step
in your recovery is to start looking for that first major resource. Everyone including you has one.
For me it is my fascination with all things spiritual and emotional. When I was in Miss Dianne Gordon’s ninth grade Civics class, fifth period at Edgewood Jr. High school, Merritt Island, I became aware of the profession of a psychologist. I thought it was so neat that a person could talk with other people in pain and help them solve their problems and make them feel better! When I grew up, I wanted to become a psychologist! All doors leading that direction never opened, but my fascination with all things emotional only grew stronger. Over the decades I began writing and researching emotional pain and learning why self-damaging people did what they did. My studies broadened to look closely at the subjects of self-esteem, pride, selfishness, emotional intimacy, and carefully observing the character of many types of people.
I noticed how important a person’s emotional well being was, and wanted to help others feel better about themselves, and for them to see how important they themselves were in the overall scheme of life. At some point in the last decade I realized that our emotional life and our spiritual life are connected. The spiritual is what we are, and the emotional is the realm of interaction with our spiritual. When one is sick and disconnected, the other is sick and disconnected as well. Remember the ‘disconnected’ part.
The purpose for this site is to offer insight, understanding and encouragement for those who are needing it in facing overwhelming barriers to their happiness. I wish to offer an emotional and spiritual map for others to use to chart their way home. For me there was no such map, all things emotional and spiritual were completely uncharted. Moreover, I was alone, very alone. Lori’s and my hope here is that what I experienced, perhaps being similar to what you or your loved ones are experiencing, do not need to take you the same time frame to overcome. Lessons I learned and answers I have concluded will apply to you and yours. The journey to your completeness can happen far faster than it took me to complete my same journey, without a map, making it as I went. Moreover, if the insight shared here helps even one find their true self, coming out of emotional pain caused by anything, then all my life’s pain, depravity and effort will have been well worth it. If even just one soul finds home. Then I could say of my life, as I say about Lori’s and her family’s lives, that it will have been a life well lived.
Okay, now I better go check up on The Cat.