In What Is psychology we talked about the makeup of our mind is similar to the makeup of a car. A mechanic knows the car and when the car needs repair the mechanic can repair the defective part to make it operable again. We also talked about the difference between psychology which is knowing the makeup of our mind, and differentiated it from nurturement, which is fuel for our spirit, much like an automobile uses fuel to power it. Lastly, we talked about spirituality, which is in our highest order state, and is the ‘self to self’ deepest connection, which also is our ‘self to God’ deepest connection. Since God intended us to be a specific person, the closer we get to be that person, therefore the closest we become to God.
We will now going to talk a little about what is psychotherapy. That is a mechanical repair for your mind much like a mechanic would repair an automobile. With our mind, just like a car, it can break down and fail to function correctly. Many of us are broken, some of us are deeply so. With a car, lack of performance is the symptom. With our mind, lack of happiness, enthusiasm, joy and not leading an enriched emotionally full life are symptoms. Other specific symptoms can be depression, anxiety, loneliness, addiction, overall emotional emptiness, feeling of no purpose. Feelings of deep loneliness, and living lives of isolation and suffering, far from what we would love to be leading, are common. Sufferers with anger management problems may be caused by all the things above.
In emotional psychotherapy, our caregivers do not use mechanic’s tools as an automotive mechanic does, they use an emotional template. This template is a pattern, a layout of emotional interaction which should have happened in the patient’s childhood development and added to, in adult life. Ideally, we have received all the love and nurturement needed to grow us into fully self-empowered and emotionally complete adults. Very few of us have enjoyed such complete nurturement, and many of us have fallen far short. A caregiver’s job is to find out and identify the sufferer’s unmet need for nurturement, where, how much, and in what era did it happen. There are two templates involved; The ideal perfect template, and discovering the contrasting template of the sufferer, and all of its deficiencies. As the relationship grows, and communication becomes more complete, the patient or sufferer’s template becomes even more clear, both to the sufferer and to the caregiver.
We process pain, loss, suffering, depravity and cruel treatment differently in different increments. Manageable amounts we grieve through and move on as it happens, but when the amounts become excessive, and intolerable to process, then complications start happening in our template. One extrapolation that might happen is that we wrongly believe we are inferior, and a mistake and we deserved the suffering that we experienced. Another might be anger and rage at the person or cause of our loss or suffering, and we might adjust our behaviors to strike back. Still another extrapolation might be feeling shame because we let someone down so that they could not like us. A common extrapolation is we failed God and the world because we cannot make ourselves a success and it is all our fault. A whole host of complications can and often do logjam our processing of our feelings to get all things caught up. Then the main emotional burden is our shame, guilt, because we incorrectly believe it was us that failed.
Once the caregiver and the sufferer can access the suffering and the events and conditions that caused it, then it will be easier to identify the subsequent shame, guilt and false assumptions that have arisen on top of those original tragedies. Psychotherapy can happen within the sufferer them self, or with the assistance of loving friends and close family, or it can happen with the assistance of a trained professional in a patient-therapist relationship. The greatest contributing factor in the healing of the sufferer is the willingness of the sufferer to immerse themselves again in their emotionally painful past as the adult they are now. When the sufferer is willing to share their past openly with loving, reverent supporters, they can over time go back in and rescue their abandoned inner wonder child, still trapped there.